PattyStewBoneCity: Kristen Videos from "El Hormiguero" Spanish TV Show

Kristen Videos from "El Hormiguero" Spanish TV Show

Translation

Host: You guys are beautiful and radiant. Also you guys are tired. From what part of the world did you just come from, doing promotion for Snow White and the Huntsman?

Kristen: Gosh I have no idea. No umm..

Charlize: We’ve been everywhere. We started in France, then we went to Berlin and now we are in España!

Host: We now I have to congratulate you guys for a phenomenal film. I watched it the other day. I think its a film that both girls and boys will love. For girls there is a fantastic story of love and there is the story of action. This is a story of Snow White with action. Personally, what is it that you like of this version of Snow White?

Charlize: Snow White is naked in this one.

Host: Can you confirm this?

Kristen: Yeah, yeah (laughs) What are you doing to me man?

Charlize: I am trying to sell the movie.

Host: But lets talk about you (to Charlize) it seems impossible that with that beautiful angelic face, you would do anything wrong. How is it possible to be so evil?

Charlize:Uhh, no I am so nice. But the evil queen is just misunderstood.

Kristen: She is lying. She is such a liar.

Charlize: She (Queen) is much nicer than Snow White

Host: Isn’t it contagious, if you’re acting evil all day does that become part of your real personality when they stop filming?

Charlize: I had moments when I definitely enjoyed screaming a lot. Like “BRING ME A SANDWICH, NOW!” And then Kristen would walk by and say “You’re not the queen right now. Shut up.” I would be like “BRING ME YOUR HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER” Kristen would be like “No. I’m Kristen and youre Charlize. Shut up and calm down.”

Host: Well the director chose you because you’re a combination of Margaret Thatcher and Kate Moss. Will you confront him or will I?

Charlize: All I hear is Kate Moss. Something Thatcher and Kate Moss .

Host: Okay Kristen, let’s talk about Snow White. You are a different Snow White than what we know from the fairytale. You have learned to fight, you jumped of cliffs, you rode horses, it was a mix between Snow White and Chuck Norris. There is a lot of action. What was the hardest scene for you physically?

Charlize: Look at you… (Kristen looks away and shakes her head)

Host: Lets stop the interview and just look at Kristen and Chris Hemworth…Did you give Chris a punch in the face?

Kristen: I did. I tried to be…I am a method actor. I have to get as close as to that experience as I can. Chris is still crying about it. I can’t wait to stop hearing about it. I’m more committed, so much more committed to this movie..

Host: You jumped from a height of almost 2 floors to do the scene of jumping off a cliff, How do they explain that to you? Like does your agent come and tells you “Kristen, darling, you’re gonna have to jump.” Or do they take you there deceived, and they point and say jump from there? When do they tell you the truth?

Kristen: I don’t think my agent ever knew about that, because they wouldn’t have let me do this movie. I think he (agent) thinks my job is like the most…He comes to set and smokes as many cigarettes as he can and he acts like he is on vacation. I was on set freezing (shivers) and he is just there saying “Youre great Kristen” while smoking.

Charlize: Youre great Kristen! Amazing, Amazing.

Host: Charlize, while watching the movie, I was taking notes. There was something I didn’t understand. This is Snow White, why is there eight dwarfs? Why is there an extra dwarf? Did the writers not read the story?

Charlize: Yeah I think they forgot and then it was too late to change it. Everyone was already hired. Then they said Oh lets make it sound like we are smart. But in reality, it was an error. Sorry

Host: How was it riding horses?

Charlize: We thought you were going to be the ninth dwarf

Host: Hey hey we are not filming, no need to seem like an evil witch

Charlize: This is the ninth dwarf of Snow White. Hey I’m sorry. Theyre some of the greatest british actors, you should feel honored. They are the best of the best. You would be in good company.

Kristen: She is just trying to feel dainty right now

Charlize: Yeah cause I feel so manly…Excuse me for one second. (looks at Kristen) Dont you ever say that again

Kristen: I’m sorry but you make me feel…no, no.

Host: Would you be able to do the famous line, only for Spain, because the mirror mirror line does not sound as poetic as in english. Would you beable to say it again, looking at me? If you can…

Charlize: Excuse us Kristen. This is gonna be hot and heavy…I dont know what I’m doing. Save me. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whose the fairest of them all.”

Host: Oh please get comfortable…Lets watch the trailer.

Host: Snow White and the Huntsman premiere June 1st. (To Kristen) Talk to us about you experience with the horses in the film. We see you riding at top speed. But you dont like the horses.

Kristen:I love the horses. I love watching them saddleless running around a pasture. I would love to sit and feed them apples offer Snow White’s treats. I just dont wanna tell them what to do. As soon as I get on the horse, it just goes “Idiot. She is not in control” and they are absolutely right. But its a good hurdle to jump over. Its good to face your fears. Also have people watch you do it, its cooler than faking it. I was terrified but when I had to act I controlled my face.

Host: But you love animals. You have a wolves and cats.

Kristen: I have a cat. My mom has hybrid wolves. She’s an oddball.

Host: Oh hybrid wolves. I don’t know whats that.

Kristen: They’re awesome. They’re a mix of wolves and dogs.

Host: Oh

Kristen: Yeah I know. I dont know why..she is..umm. Interesting.

Host:CHarlize, tell me what was harder to do, the six hours of makeup when you become an old witch or getting in the tub of black oil. I thought it was white but they told me black.

Charlize: Its both. The milk bath is in the beginning of the film when I am taking a beauty bath, as all us women do. And then the last one was a…that was coming out of an oil bath. That was a last minute decision. It wasn’t in the script. Rupert came on set with this idea since in the scene there was this thing with fire. I was like “okay, but do you feel how cold that is?” But he was like “Yeah, but you can do it.” It was about 2 hours in that.

Kristen: (sarcastic) Oh were you cold?

Charlize: Yeah and some crew member said that and said “Shut up, get in there. It’s two am and Im hungry and wanna go home.”

Host: What is worse to get off makeup or oil? When you leave and everyone tells you “Bravo, Charlize” and you leave to wash off and youre by yourself, what is worse makeup or oil?

Charlize: Yeah and everyone is like “See you tomorrow, bye” and I’m still covered…saying “Anybody? Help?”

Host: Well you guys became really good friends. Charlize has said..(Charlize and Kristen shake heads)..no?

Charlize: Yeah Si, si, si. Yeah

Kristen: Si, señor. Si, señor

Host: She is so tall.

Kristen: She is not always like this. This is a full on act for all of you.

Charlize: I’m a total bitch.

Host: Yeah but Charlize said that you are very talented and that you give good back massages. And that is a compliment.

Charlize: That was a joke.

Kristen: Maybe you can explain that

Charlize: Um ok. Sometimes irony doesn’t get understood. So I made this comment….

Kristen: She meant I give horrible back rubs.

Charlize: Exactly. Exactly…This interviewer had said to me, he looked at me like I was crazy, and thought that I wouldn’t be friends with another actor I was working with. So when I told her that from the moment we (Kristen and Charlize) it was easy to get along, he looked at me like “that can’t be it.” And so I looked at him and said “What do you want? She gives good back rubs? Does that make you happy?” Then they wrote it and I was like OMG. I imagined you (Kristen) reading that and being like “Eww, I never touched you.”

Kristen: I never layed a finger on Charlize.

Host: So it seems they didn’t have the correct facts. Also…

Charlize: Do you want a back rub? Just ask!

Host: Well Kristen. This morning I was playing a sport and I hurt myself right here. It hurts a lot.

Kristen: Oh you have a crick in your neck

Host: Yeah. I told my doctor that today you guys were coming and were going to help me.

Charlize: Help out. Help out, Kristen.

Kristen pats his back

Host: Woah what a massage

Kristen pokes him

Host: Oh I know you have power. I’ve seen you with the vampires. So, did you guys cook together?

Charlize: No but I think we are both foodies. We love food and we talk about food a lot. I think all we talk about is food. Everytime I see her is like What did you eat, what are you gonna eat, you should see what I ate. Its all we talk about.

Host: (to Kristen) But it doesnt seem like you eat too much. Its seems like you eat a little bit.

Charlize: Woah why are you looking at her?

Host: Everything I say, you find a hair. No, you look fantastic.

Charlize: I’m the poor fat girl. Poor fat girl.

Host: You already are one of the world’s sexiest women in the world. Its not necessary for everyone to tell you everyday. I would need someone to tell me that I am sexy. Me.

Charlize: Kristen youre so skinny. Youre so little. You don’t eat. She eats.

Kristen: what are we talking about right now?

Host: I know that you eat and eat a lot of Spanish food. That you love spanish food and you have had trips to Spain. And that one time you said you wanted to marry a Spanish croqueta (fried ham rolls)

Charlize: Yeah if you could legally marry a croqueta, I would. I haven’t met a croqueta that haven’t loved.

Host: These are Spanish ham croquetas

Kristen: Oh man you don’t know how bad I feel. I already feel like puking.

Host: Do we hear wedding bells? (to Kristen) Is hot? Its ok?

Kristen: (nods) yeah I just get a little nervous on TV

Host: Okay I am going to talk to you while you eat your croqueta. You are coming to the end with the Twilight saga, with Breaking Dawn. Was there any moment….Your life changed. You will have a bfore and after Twilight…but was there any moment when you have been overwhelmed with love of you fans? People love you but sometimes they love you too much that you are surprised and don’t wanna go out and eat croquetas

Kristen: (looks to audience) You all love me right? I think the coolest part of my job is..

Charlize: Eating croquttes

Kristen: The coolest part of the job is sharing stuff. It seems simple and cheesy but it is so unique, crazy and rare to do it with so many people. Even if its a little bit, a lot sometimes. Its intense. You have to put yourself in your body and enjoy it and I do it… You guys, You guysss!

Host: ok Charlize, you’ve recently released “Young adult” and somebody told me you’ve been through one of the most embarrassing moments of your life in the Ritz bathroom with a makeup artist. You were doing the promotion, something happened to you… You got to the bathroom with your makeup

You were doing the promotion, something happened to you with your shirt. You got to the bathroom with your makeup artist gay.

Charlize: *laughs* I spill something in my shirt and I had to change my shirt quickly for press conference. I couldn’t get out the shirt for myself. So I went to the girl’s bathroom to change, my makeup artist came with me to help me change and we thought there were nobody in the bathroom. And an older lady came in the bathroom and *started screaming* and my makeup artist scream and then I scream.

Kristen: I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Charlize: And I was naked *cover her breasts* I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!

(sounds sexy music)

Charlize: what’s up with the sexy music?

Host: Well, always that there is something sexy we put it. I will introduce you the stars of this program. Trancas and Barrancas.

(Puppets)

Charlize: Oh my god!

Trancas: Yes my friend, we’ve been down here all the time. Waiting for this moment. Oh my god this is so excited. Hey Kristen I want to tell you one thing. After being with a vampire and a wolfman, don’t you think that the next step is an ant?

Host: You don’t have to answer.

Kristen: Oh you are an ant? Aaawww

(audiende laughs)

Barrancas: We assume as a no. Don’t worry Trancas.

Kristen: oh hey!

Trancas: (talking to Kristen) Thank you, thank you for everything (starts to hide).

Kristen: What? Oh god. You need to grow some balls. You need to man up! I really liked you when I first met but now you are making you uncool.

Trancas: Yes, you’re absolutely right. Besides I am super masculine. Look my favorite move is this *starts to thrust* Yes baby, yes.

Kristen: * thrust*

Barrancas: Charlize I want to tell you that I love your Dior perfume. Since I watched you in the advertising I just sleep with a drops of perfume.

Host: Well you are going to do the section or no?

Trancas: Yes yes, c’mon we are talking with them. You can be with them half hour, eat croquettes and now that we are here you don’t leave us talk with them!

Host: Sorry, when you want you can make the section.

Trancas: The thing is that the appearances are deceptive, then to know which of the two is more perceptive we have a contest that is called “Camilo Sesto Sentido”.

Barrancas: Attention because the competition is very difficult, very difficult. We’re going to ask a question. We will post a picture a bit strange, somewhat ambiguous and you have to answer the question before 5 seconds. The first to answer correctly wins a point, ok?

Charlize: Either one of us?

Trancas: No, compete against each other. The first to answer wins a point.

(first pic)

Trancas: Which of the two is seated?

Charlize: the girl, oh no the man, the man!

Trancas: Point for Charlize

Chalize: Suck it Kristen!

Barrancas: ok next question, someone of the girls in the pic needs to shave her shoulders?

Charlize and Kristen: Yeah!

Kristen: Oh wait is someone’s knee. He is in her face and he is cut it out!

Charlize: Oh my god, that’s so gross!

Kristen: I know, gross.